Mrs Death Misses Death by Salena Godden

Author:Salena Godden
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canongate Books

The Desk: Mrs Death’s Office

In Mrs Death’s office the printer sometimes gets jammed. You must understand the problems this can cause. The machine runs out of ink, the pages get stuck together and the numbers repeat.

Somewhere, somebody dies on an operating table. The surgeon wipes his brow and takes off his mask. He sighs heavily and says, We lost him . . . There is a long pause filled with the weight of failure and loss.

But just then the body jolts and appears to come back to life. Bleeeep. Bleeeep. The heart beats, there is a steady pulse, the drama is over. The doctors and the nurses and everybody in the theatre cheer and cry. They wipe a tear and pat the surgeon on the back. Well done. A huge sigh of relief and congratulations and . . . then just as suddenly . . . the patient jolts twice more and then flatlines and dies all over again. This time for good. The patient is really gone this time.

Dead. Twice. Life came and went. Mrs Death was there twice that same day. Do you think that’s intentional? Do you think Mrs Death does this on purpose? No. Mrs Death is a very busy lady. No, believe me, that is a jammed printer. Mrs Death’s system has a system.

It is man-made machines that make errors to torment humans.

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